Sexy Pinky Penis

Brought in Dave a carrot cake in attempt to apologize for Monday. We shall see...

Today's Intern: The Lady Katie (carpool queen)

Apparently Menace smells good this morning, like he bathed in his Chanel Platinum... much to Ravey's early morning headache.

Jen throws out Woody's spices in le kitchen... Women & how we either clean like anal retentive crazies (throw everything away) or are really sloppy/messy. Bathroom territory, the bedroom, kitchen... How men want us to leave their stuff ALONE. Respect the junk drawer, let men throw their old junky crap away!

Gary Coleman: self proclaimed virgin? [LOLZ: Woody asked Gary if this one rumor is true, "When he goes to the beach, do cats try to cover him with sand?"] On divorce court, because his new wife freaked out when someone advised her of the exact date of the end of the world. REALLY?

News & Sports:

>Hilary held a news conference and vowed to stay in the race even if Obama kicked her butt recently. She says she's staying in the race until there is a certain nominee. The deciding factor is the 250 super delegates. I failed US History and Government.

>Hungover at work? 1/3 come to work hungover. 1/10 come to work still drunk! The stats for drinking and hungover performances on the job... Also it's MEDIA that is the industry with the most alchy

>NASA - bed rest study. $17,000 for staying 90 days straight 24-hours in bed. On your back.

>Libs or Conservatives... missed it.

>KGO Bernie Ward: changing his plea to 'Guilty' on his Child Porn charges... Claiming it's for a book. Uh, he's the host of the "God Talk" show in the city.

>Suspected terrorists at Guantanamo Bay: Military offc Abdula Al Adjmi was released from Guantanamo Bay strapped on a bomb and killed 7 innocent victims. So far there have been 36 detainies who have been released and turned out to be terrorists to continue to partici

>The Olympic Torch: a special Chinese team brought a special version of the Olympic Torch up to the top of Mt. Everest in attempts to change the image of China and Tibet. The torch is scheduled to arrive in Beijing on August 6th.

>Patriots!

>Tape of the Rams - may or may not exist

>Cedrik Benson's friends - was not boating while intoxicated.

Dumbass Contest (1 winner)

Crappy Showcase Showdown - 4 really stupid items that you can get at your favorite store at the mall. Gifts were from, surprise, Spencer's!

Winner won: Infineon Raceway AMA stuffs Kawasakis! (this video link is what I always think of when ppl mention Kawasakis)

Who knew?
*Hard imes = lipstick sales increase!
*Sadam's diary in prison reveals his concerns, focussing on avoiding contracting STDs and HIV.
*Ravey: have you ever wished that your deli meat had a little more personality... You can buy a log of deli meat that is colored to each slice reveals a smiling clown face... CREEPY. Gross....

Music & Entertainment:

>Fantastic 4?? What ~ people tying up my lines. Thanks.

Green Porn: Isabelle Rossellini is reenacting humans as insects mating. Whaaaaaa~?! Link should get your search started... I don't have better links right now!

Sexy Time Fun Facts:

Men's Health Article: stats... the longer a couple is together, the less they want to do it. In the average week, Americans spend 57 minutes having sex, wich is 15 minutes less than the global average.

What percentage of women don't have an orgasm: 39%

5 Signs she's faking it:

1. BAD ACTING ~ like a Hustler girl. over acting.
2. you don't feel the contractions
3. if she's not breathing heavily really, she's not feeling it
4. kissing and cuddling up to the last minute - she's faking. if it's for reals, she shouldn't have control of her every move
5. her skin is cool to the touch - caught red handed, cuz body temperature is uncontrolable

Worst sex stories!!

*Bad Breath

*Small penis

*Broken penis :(

*In the car

*Katie took Nyquil one night to get through her cold, woke up three hours later, took a shower, her BF heard and joined her... She faints and ralphs all over the place. Amen.

*Discussions of the PinkyWeiner anomoly (NOT an anomoly... but common enough for Katie, Ravey and myself to encounter once)

*Whipped cream curdling... yuck

Crap on Celebrities:

>Lohan ends up wearing a student's mink coat that went missing at a club but she got it back and it was ripped and stinky. Demanding Lohan pay for the rental of the coat. HA!

>Something about Seacrest and Larry King

>Gramma Sue Joe Hanson of Sex Talk show on O announces her retirement. As Woody put it, she's "hanging up her dildo."

>Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wence - ugh. Will they be getting married? May 16th... Who cares?

>Ryan Renolds & Scarlett Johansen are dating. w00t.

>Liv Tyler... photos!!

>Jenna Fisher and the chick who plays "Angela" on the Office had her baby.

>Dennis Rodman... booohooo. In rehab.

Celebrity Birthdays:

- George Cloony - Enrique Iglasias - Ronnie Lott - Alex Van Halen - Gary Glitter - Tony Blair - Tracy Lordes - Willy Mayes -

Porno Birthdays:

Andrea Britain: Ball and the Family, E3 the Extra Testicle

Sunny McKae: Eye Witness Nudes, Hump of the Volume

Grade Today's Show: 52.1% A

Today's Just the Headline: "Genetic engineering split scientists."