May Day on THURSDAY... get it? THURSday

Just kidding! Goooood morning people. It's been a special day, to say the very least. And it's only 10:00 am!

Today's Intern: Miss Katie

Yo. Ratings. We're number four! We're #4!! Woot.

*Caller wanted to explain something about the Spanish station that kicked out butt: they start at 4:30 thru 11:00 and they have billboards everywhere. Tony sarcastically reacts to a new concept, advertizing. Cripes.

*Another caller wanted to know how a number 11 rated show is still on air. Who knows why birds fly?

*How much does an ad on a single billboard cost?

*How do they determine ratings? Someone offered to turn on all his radios during the show just to help. Cute & THANKS. we *heart* you.

*Laura from Napa called ~ had a great question, but I stupidly forgot what it was!! Write a comment and remind me!

Happy Happy Story!

(Menace shares a story about how on YouTube there's a video of an eagle tossing a goat off a cliff.)

Dolphin show - the animals at Sea World! 2 Dolphins, Sharkie and Jake, jumped out of the water at the same time to perform a commonly done trick and collided with each other. Sharkie (who was 30 years old) fell back into the water, dead. So it was a freak accident. On one hand, let it be noted that the average life expectancy of a dolphin is 25 years, so Sharkie surpassed that. But still, what a happy story :(

News & Sports:

>MADD thinks that GTA IV, which received a Mature rating, should get an Adult Only rating. Drunk driving is NOT a joke, however there's an option to drive drunk in GTA IV. Caller advises us that it's actually looked down upon by other characters in the game.

>Artists from Berlin are living in Isreal's XXX Museum with lice in their hair for three weeks. For art's sake.

>Teacher in Florida, took on a second job with a fishing boat as a bikini clad waitress. The school district says her other job is too risque. Tiffany Shephard.

>Sharks

>Giants - an unlikely player

>A's

>NBA coach is fired

Dumb Ass Contest (1 winner)

Who said it?? From WTR...

Winner won: STP Tickets

News & Entertainment:

>Ravi plays REM clip

>Good news & bad news for NBC - Katie Couric is at an all time low. Lower and lower week to week. Fox CBS ABC NBC distant 4th. (which is our rating place) Uh I'm sure this is posted somewhere.

>Cher and Tom Cruise? What?

*A sex club is selling their used furniture and interior items. Yuck
*KY Jelly: new Yours and Mine commercial, His and Hers lubes, and when you combine them it's a "new" experience. Intriguing...

Sexy Time Fun Facts!!

~10 things women shouldn't worry about in bed.~

• boob size - stop freaking out
• lingerie - yes it's nice, but really, it's just gonna be taken off!
• are you sexy enough - obviously, he's sleeping with you
• do i smell bad - it's alright, it's an attractive scent
• good in bed - men remember if it's really awful
• bikini line - he doesn't care, as long as it's not power bush revival
• sound of my voice - reseptive vocal response in gratitude, guys dig that
• swallowing - is it a big deal to him, not really

~Who/what is your woman fantasizing about when she's Jilling Off?~

• Did we ever find this out? Someone called in for an answer, and I DON'T HAVE IT!

A moment to ask Tony what he thinks about when he whacks it - we discover that it's THURSDAY. Awkwardly enough, that brings us to Miss Katie the Intern. Beth calls in and is cool as a cucumber.

Sexy Time Poll Question!!

What do you think about when you're diddling yourself?

• girl - thinks about chicks, porn star girls
• girls he's passed up
• girls that are less attractive cuz they make up for it in bed
• hairy men

Crap on Celebrities
>Hogan rubs suntan oil on his daughter's butt. Weird. Creepy. I don't let my dad near my butt. That's just me.
>The Buffalo Bills drafted boy who's dad is Mail Man somebody...
>Sex tape of Jimmy Hendrix. Nice.
>Madame Nikki claims to have booked girls for Charlie Sheen recently.
>Jaimie Lynn Spears is an expecting a girl. Great. She's engaged to the baby daddy.?
>Kathy Griffin ~ her recenty ex is getting married already. Yipes!
>Pam Anderson is officially an American Citizen. Yay?
>Jason Lee is expecting a new kid with his current lady. This will be in addition to Pilot Inspector, his first son.

Celebrity Birthdays:
* Mac Daddy is 30 years old * Eddy Winslow of Family Matters * Tim McGraw * Ray Parker Jr *
Porno Birthday
Debbie Diamond

Grade Today's Show: 100% A

Today's Just the Headline: "Sun goes down on rodeo cowboy."