Porn pr0n porn!

Nothing here to see... I'm a Happy GIRL today!

Today's Intern: Miss Andrea

Christian group is making a stink about Starbucks revival of an original logo where a topless mermaid with a double tail resembles a naked woman with her legs spread. They are promoting a boycott of Starbucks, AKA Slutbucks.

Turlock, found a bazooka behind a Jack in the Box.

Icelandic Phallological Museum: 261 types of the male member. They have the largest specimen belongs to a sperm whale on display.

BME penal index / rasputin's penis debate over whether it was a horse's or his actual penis...

Guess the State (1 winner)

Pennsylvania!!

Story: 39 year old man was at a bar, time to go home, too drunk to drive, had his 9 yo son drive him home. they took off. noticed the car swerving, kid @ wheel. boy clarified that he's 9 and a HALF. Rodney behaved like a drunken jerk.

Winner won: Indiana Jones Tix

News & Sports:

>Supreme Court ruled same sex couples CAN get married in the state of California. To Woody's chagrin and not in a homophobic way, but because that means more weddings for him to attend. YAY!

>John McCain - 2013 America CAN win the war. It's not a time table, it's a victory.

>Office worker in the UK claimed to be bullied, awarded $10,000 after her boss lifted his left butt cheek and "farted in his general direction." Her team of all male sales staff even threw a beach ball at her head.

>Mom that set up a fake myspace acct then ended with a student hanging herself.

>Someone did not want to go to work? 20 years for lighting something on fire in the bathroom in flight?

>Eeeeeew! A 9 year old Greek girl recently reported stomach pains. Doctors discovered her embryonic twin was inside of her stomach. WOW. She grew around her twin. Her two inch twin had hair, no brain, and other developed body parts.

>Giants - things were looking great. Then the wheels came off. Fail.

*I have acid reflex right now. Yuck.*

>Penguins are generous franchize: lol because they LET the Flyer's win last night.

>Kentucky Derby - Big Brown

>Eight Belles official autopsy showed she had no diseases and no bones abnormalities. Some people have suspected her owner of steroid abuse.

Happy happy story!

New Jersey - 14 year old mother was charged with murder after she gave birth to a baby in a fair grounds toilet, hid the baby in the tank during a Cnco de Mayo fest. She managed to keep the pregnancy a secret but someone narced her out when reports of the baby's discovery made the news.

Who Knew?

*Shark Attacks - according to (Woody) last year there were zero deaths due to shark attacks last year, 2007. Ravey and I challenged that, and she found one report of a death from shark attack off the coast of South Africa.

*Survey: 98% of women have been hollered at. 1/3 women are hit-on on a regular basis as reported on CNN.

*There has been an increase in breast reduction surgeries

*The difference between men and women in wet dreams: women dream more often about celebrities and exboyfriends. 41% of women have wet dreams a week. 3% of men say they have had a true "wet" dream while 4% of women say they have actually had dreams that resulted in a climax. Who knew?

Dumb Ass Contest (1 winner)

Tony goes with C, but that's just [me] him.

Winner won: Indiana Jones Tix

Music & Entertainment Report:

>Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. Read all of those. I'm kinda stoked. Whatever.

>May 11 show - Radiohead got stuck in a monsoon and missed their show in Bristol.

>Death Cab for Cutie: playing xBox Live @ 4:30. Message: gwfdcfcnick & gwfdcfcjason.

Pointless Listener Poll:

Not all stereo types are true... HEY! Stereotypes are observational humor.

• White ppl let their dogs lick them in the mouth
• Black men loving white women
• Asian people have trouble driving
• Brothers are lazy
• White people can't dance
• Mexicans like to decorate their car
• Old people cannot drive! Suck at driving...
• The effeminate lisp of gay men
• On a side note... Tinkerbell sticker on your car = fat chick. Hurley sticker on your car = hot chick. Mexican and Middle Eastern drivers hang CDs from their rear view.

Well, that's Just Not Right...
*Fire drill at a High School, one student while classes were gathering on the lawn outside, someone came behind the 11th grader and lit his turban on fire. Who does that?! That's just not right.

Free Porn Friday!
We have some serious goodies this week... "Crack whore confessions vol 1," "Twisted as F," "Ass Jazz Vol 5,"' and "Glory hole." Woody and Tony report that Shane's World is the best porno out there... I'll be looking into that.
Place your bets everybody! Menace goes to the corner for the DROP. Woody made the bag shorter than it was last time. Guy in gray shirt did the pick up in 3:52 minutes.

• Danny 1:39 minutes
• Jason 8:00 minutes - winner
• Ian 2:47 minutes
• Nick 2:00 minutes

Jan Wahl & The Movie Review. Hat Time!
*Prince Caspian was non-stop battle. Harry Potter meets Lord of the Rings. Not as wonderful as the first one...
*3/4 hats for the Colonial Movie... pfft. I missed it.
*Woody convinces Jan to do a porn movie review with Jimmy Hats as her scale of review.
*Fantasy Movies...
*Batman 6/18 comes out! I LOVE BATMAN!!!! omg.

Crap on Celebrities: Break ups!
>Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi are getting married! Sweet,I love them both.
>Shaniah Twain is splitting up with her hubby.
>Jodi foster and her partner are also breaking up.
>Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson are broken up...

Celebrity Birthdays
~ NIN Trent Resner - Sugar Ray Leonard - Bob Saggat - Jack Johnson - Tina Fey - Jamie Lynn Sigler - Emmit Smith - Dan Patrick ~
Porno Birthday
Ava Angelina 23 half cuban half chinese. Over 250 movies!

Official Woody Weekly Friday Song:
4.8% Ravey's Song - Fear Factory "Cars"
37.6% Menace's Song - E40 "Tell Me When to Go"
16.7% Greg's Song - Rush "Tom Sawyer"
15.3% Tony's Song - Muppets "Movin' right along" by Kermie
29.5% Woody's Song - Afro Man "Becuz I got High"
Defending Champion!

Grade Today's Show: % A