Monday, July 14, 2008

Mundae, bloody, mundae.

"Someone's gonna have a tummy ache!" Homer J. Simpson

Today's Intern:
My Name is Sam

Ravey and Menace felt it was a long weekend. Woody thought it was a fast weekend.
Ravey and Greg describe their Kathy Griffin, Menace's Stepmom experience. Apparently his stepmom and real mom have braces. Fascinating.
Katie joined some of the team and went to see Ralphie May. Fun stuff.
Ravey hit the cemetery up for some peaceful, creepy time alone. *Furrowed brows*
Woody went to Universal Studios in SoCal. Raves about the replacement ride to the Back to the Future Ride, which is the Simpsons Ride. Yes! "Best ride ever." They challenge his statement. He sticks to his guns. I still think space mountain is the best ride ever. And the zipper.

Australia has a "cage of death" ride at an amusement park. Choppa the salt water croc. The description is like you are the peanut butter in a croc kong toy. No thanks.

"Chatty" Kathy of Lafyette/Orinda calls in to harass me and then not cooperate with me in order to get on air. Hates on Ralphie May and his rant on trees. OMG 10 minutes of annoying yapping and our attempts to quiet her. Fail. How does California = you are automatically an environmentalist? Also, she hates DOGS. She totally sucks for being evil.

News & Sports:
>Missed the first couple stories. Phones.
>Gym rage - lawsuit in NY a screaming spin class student. Complaints of him grunting and shouting, "You go girl!" throughout class. Sweaty equipment... Yuck. I hate gyms. Cuz as a female, I think you look like a hamster running on a wheel. Men, different story. I DO like the spin class, though. But not with shouty, sweaty noisies. Yoga and pilates. And swimming in an ocean or lake.
>InBev, Belgium, acquiring Budweiser, Anheuser Bush (St. Louis MO) for $52 Billion. St. Louis has 24 hr bars and has the International Dog Museum. St. Louis also has a Tour de Donuts.
>Dog meat has been taken off the designated Olympic menus while the games are in effect.
>Someone sold the naming rights of his unborn son for $100 gas card. "Dixonandwillaby Parton"

>Who is Evan Longoria? Ravey does not know most of the people in tonight's Homerun Derby.
>A's half of the season 51&54
>Ryan Dempster
>Brett Farvre changed his mind. He doesn't want to retire yet. So.... uh.... Hm.

DumbAss Contest (1 winner)
The Slogan Finder
Winner won: Monster Energy Supercross

It is 2 degrees in the studio. Shiver me timbers! There is something very wrong with Greg's body heat. Get thee to a DOCTOR!

REMINDER: YOU CANNOT WIN TWICE WITHIN 60 DAYS OF WINNING SOMETHING FROM LIVE105. I DO KEEP TRACK OF THIS CRAP, PEOPLE. SO DON'T TRY IT. AND, DONT BE AN UNGRATEFUL LITTLE *ISH WHEN YOU DO WIN SOMETHING. PLEASE. Thanks!

Idiots in the News!
*Central Collections Office in Dallas, last week. White employee noticed that paperwork was missing and described the enigma as a black hole. A black employee retorted, "EXCUSE me?" Claimed the racist card. And a black judge orders the white employee to apologize for his racial insensitivity. Uh, excuse ME. Black holes are scientific objects in space that pull in matter by a gravitational pull. A white hole does exist, it's essentially the oposite concept of a black hole.
*43 yo woman pulled her gun from a holster to shoot mice on a trail. The bullet blew thru her knee cap, bounced of her partner's keys, and landed in a coin purse where it was retrieved for evidence.
*Mom in hospital recovering from appendectamy. Her son opted to walk her dogs for her. Upon doing so, he came upon footage of her engaging in beastiality with her doggies. They recovered 193 dvd, 67 vhs, and a pile of data recording her getting DIRTY WITH HER DOGS. Oh, dear.
*Someone attempted to eat all of the McDonald meals off the menu. Ate 10 of the 12 and proceded to barf in the parking lot. Could not finish meals 11 or 12. Boooo.
*OMG The French F up. They did a hostage rescue demonstration and instead of using blanks, they loaded their guns with live ammunition. They injur 15 observers. Sacrebleu!

Music & Entertainment:
>Missed this. I'm falling apart today. I'm so sorry!

Pointless listener poll
- what's the one thing physically would you change about your significant other?
  • Femal about her Male... she'd like his rectum orifice to be larger ... wtf (weird and creepy)
  • get skinny
  • gain weight
  • eyebrows
  • smaller vagine
  • inverted nipples
  • hairy back
  • smaller boobies

Guess the State
Florida!!
Story: A woman couldn't find her children after a 4 day crack binge. 1 yo boy and 5 yo girl. Smoking crack cocaine. People told her she threw them out of a moving vehicle and suffocated them. She was irrationally calm when reporting her missing children, not knowing whether they were alive or dead. She's supposed to take medicine, but chooses not to...
Winner won: electric helicopter

Wisconsin people are messed up. Three young men attempt to dig up a dead former nursing student from her grave because they had seen her photo in the obituaries, Laura Tennesson (left). They take a bunch of condums, shovel and reach her cemented tomb, but are stopped when a car drives onto the cemetary grounds. Ravey was chillin there readin' a book!

But is she Hot? They're Guilty if they're ugly. You can't rape the willing. >A special ed teacher (34) in Alabama has had several counts of statatory rape with 15-19 year old boys, mostly on the baseball team. Her name is Julie Pritchett. Guilty.
>45 year old, Lynne Long, told her teenage son that he could have a sleep over. She and Angela Honeycutt join in on the boy slumber party and Angela jumps on the boys and shakes her boobies in front of them. They also finish this parade with hand services. Nice. Guilty.
>Teacher has a sexual relation with her female student. Crissy Torcella Hisey. Ravey declares Not Guilty. She looks like a Jollybee worker. The rest call guilty. Oh, and Greg is a fan so Not that Guilty. Hawt.

Crap on Celebrities:
>Anthony Keidis of the Chili Peppers and his 22 year old GF, Chrissy, broke up. He was 42 and she was 19. They were together for 3 years.
>Brangelina had a son & daughter on Saturday in France. All is well! C-section.
>Honor Marie Warren, Alba's baby girl, photos have sold have $1.5 million. Does that = "sell out?"
>Matthew McConaughey sold his baby's photos for $3 million.
>Candice Houlihan (like Patches O'Houlihan from Dodgeball?) her love affair with A-rod. Says she felt bad. But not that bad. Lol. Cynthia Rodgriguez is spending money like a crazy woman.
>Disney Stock - Mylie Cyrus's phone got hacked and her photos were sent to someone I've never heard of. Jonas Brothers? Bleh. Why am I typing her name!? Argh.
>Celina Gomez - plans to remain a virgin until marriage.
>Dane cook's landlord can sue him for letting his puppy poop on the premises.
>Brad Taylor (of Home Improvement) is suing a Choice Hotel for being tazored. The hotel would not allow him back in after midnight.

Crappy Birthdays
Matt Fox - Kyle Gas - Fred Savage - Jess Simpson - Adrian Grenier - Richie Sanbore - Li'l Kim - Justin Chambers - Mike Rosenbaum - Mike White - Courtney Love - Kevin Nash - Tom Hanks - OJ Simpson is 61
Porno Birthday
Naomi Marsala - Indian Asian porno princess. Hot.

Grade Today's Show: 58.6% A

Today's Just the Headline: "Man gets 6 months for sex with table."

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Geez, lots of crazy news stories on today's show, whats next, someone digging up a dead dog and wanting to hump it?

Unknown said...

evan longoria! no relation to eva longoria ;) rookie baseball player for tampa bay..

lincecum > dumpster!

sorry.. just bored at work.. and got out of an even more boring meeting.. ugh. 4 more days til friday. lol.

btw, you're cool vanessa ;)

Unknown said...

Vuhnessahh you rule!

Thanks for reading my comment and applying the news links to the blog. Much appreciated.

Does Woody and Co. consistently read the blog comments? or am I better of just e-mailing them? What was it again? like wtr@live105?

You suck it
-Cliff from the 408

ChrisinSF said...

Excellent blog, Vanessa. I wanted to punch Chatty Kathy in the face. Thanks for letting me vent some frustration on her. I will be sure to tell my therapist that you and Woody helped with my anger management today. :)