Thursday, July 17, 2008

The banana is a fruit.

Katie madeth banana pudding with banana slices and crumbled cookie cumbs. Milk. Pizza. Red Bull. Morning. Stomach ache.

Today's Intern:
Katie Doo

Menace went to Asia SF (tranny restaurant) last night for a dinner with a client. Texted Woody. That place is awesome. There was this one tranny that looked better than Whitney Houston last time I went like 5 years ago. Hawt.

"Eating out isn't fun anymore," Ravey. Are lower calorie menus in the works? People are freaking because the menus they are ordering food off of are announcing the dish's caloric value. Much to diners' surprise, even the salads are pretty out of control. People don't want to see this kind of information because they become uninterested in ingesting high calorie foods.

Andy Dick, lookin' like Sideshow Bob or, to Ravey, Satan. I like this guy. He makes me laugh, but... Others enjoy to disagree with me.

Oooo. The show touches on Sarah and Menace. Is this part going to be deleted??

Emails!
>You're right. This is not NPR.
>We get a listener's approval to keep raggin' on Menace. Thanks, Anita.
>Hate on T-man's voice and Love for Ravey's ADORABLE laugh. Yes. Thank you 408!

Pointless Listener Poll - Audience: do you consider yourself to be Liberal, Moderate, Conservative?
46% Moderate
30% Liberal
22% Conservative

News & Sports:
>CIA agent Valerie Plame.
>CSI - Red Lobster employee kills himself in the New Mexico desert in attempts to make it look like a murder.
>Dallas pizza worker was shocked to see her father rob the pizza parlor she was working at. A fellow employee knocked of his disguise and she yelled, "Stop, that's my father." He ran into a pickup truck where her mother and husband were waiting... What the hell. These people.
>Gay Marriage Conversation. I miss it cuz phones are off the hook.
>The Homeless in SF... hm. Mischief and trickery.
>Top 5 Cars Bad Drivers Own, according to AutoTrader readers. Porche. BMW. Subaru on the list!

>That guy found his shipping receipt for the HGH that he provided to key players in the steriod controversy.
>Bloods vs Cripps: Gang signals on the field are a serious offense in Football.
>Farvre still in football news.

DumbAss Contest
(1 winner)
Tony Danza Theatre - Anchorman quote
Winner won: AMA Monster Supercross Motorcross Criss Cross

Wow. 'Sucked out' by Superdrag. Who did suck out the feeling? I LOVE THE 90's. F yeah.

Ha! Segways into The Great Abortion Story:
Angela Simmons - middle class mother fussing over her 7 yo son, Ben. 39 year old former real estate agent has kept a secret. She's had an abortion. She was 21 years old. Was accidentally pregnant, used condoms and took birth control. It wasn't in the cards. After the operation. She felt better. Second abortion 4 years later with a dude named Simon. She discovered she was pregnant after he left the country. AGAIN - abortion time. As soon as it was over, she felt relief again. W/i the year she was pregnant again. Super fertile lady. Third abortion. this is fun. She and David broke up. She attempted to move on, started working at a gym. Numero Quatro. Patrick was thrilled to learn that she was pregnant. She aborted it anyway, and he stuck by her. Three years later, she became pregnant accidentally AGAIN. Her instinct was to have another abortion. She felt incredibly guilty. The baby was born premature. Pregnant again. Accidentally pregnant. "I couldn't believe it." She had a fifth abortion. She meets Paul and gets pregnant again. And low and behold. She has a sixth abortion. A year later she became pregnant again. She aborted for a seventh time. A large percentage of women in the UK have abortions on average about 7 times. Okay there are people out there with 12 and 15 abortions under their belt. But... still. More than 5 is a little ... outrageous?

Movie: Citizen Ruth - Ruth is the town slut and drug addict.

Music & Entertainment:

>Emmy's best comedy series nominees: 3rd rock, curb your enthusiasm, entourage, weeds, and something else.
>Wild International - Rage music... Keyboar replaced Guitar.
>Nintendo - new gaming experience. Wii Music.
>Amy Poehler is up for the lead of the ABC Office Spinoff. Written by Greg Daniels. The blonde chick from SNL in Tenacious D's Pick of Destiny. I could pinch her cheeks.
>Poison picks on Def Leopard. Former metal bands spitting fire. Burn!

Robin Williams plays a dad that finds his son dead after an autoerotic masturbation accident. So he writes a suicide note in an effort to give his child dignity in death.

UK Maxim magazine. July issue - how an Indian dude can land a "gory" a light skinned woman.
*A good ice breaker is to tell a suicide bomber joke.
*Don't ask an Italian woman if her family is in the mafia.
*Most american woman are angry at Indian people for stealing all their jobs.

One in three teen girls ________. Will have already been pregnant.
Teen pregnancies have gone up for the first time since 1991.

Sexy Time Fun Facts!

Penis enlargement pants on E-Bay! Okay. Greg wants.
9 women are being charged with prostitution for an oral sex competition. Tony points out that it sounds like a lot of bad teeth and wild pubic hair.

Walk of Shame Stories:
  • Halloween in Santa Barbara - lost her costume. Didn't have a place to stay. Left the party in next to nothing.
  • Mom's weekend in college. His roommate brings a chick home that night and instead doing the deed inside, they go at it in the back yard. The chick ends up sneaking thru the backyard where the mom's are preparing breakfast and preparing to eat with their college boys. Oops.
  • 2 girls at his Halloween party end up in the bathroom. Puked on themselves and bleeding. Next morning he hands them some T-shirts and sends them on their way.
  • At 19 he hooked up w/ his English teacher from HS. He had to drop her off at his old HS the next morning cuz she left her car at the bar.
  • Rachel - OMG. She went to Rome. The end.
  • Musician walks home at 7 in the morning w/ a 120 lb amp thru North Beach.
  • Wedding - best man hooked up w/ brides maid. She walked of shamed down to her bedroom and her parents were right next door. When the elevator door opened on her floor, her dad was waiting outside.
  • Someone brought a girl over to this his place. She passed out on the sofa and the guy stole her clothes at 6 in the morning.

Crap on Celebrities:
>Andy Dick made the news. Drugs and sex stuff. I missed it but linked the story in like paragraph 2 of today's blog.
>Sarah Jessica Parker is having her mole removed.

Crappy Birthdays:
~ Will Farrell - David Hassle - Art Linkletter - Carrie (Pink's ex) - Alex Winter - Mark Burnett ~

Grade Today's Show: 70.6% A

Today's Just the Headline: "Deaf woman's shouting match ends in arrest."

2 comments:

J.B. said...

Wait, what happened between Sarah and Menace? I missed that part!! And Goddamn Andy Dick looks like an F'n serial killer in that pic. SEVEN ABORTIONS?!?! Hell, I think more than one is too many! WRAP IT UP!!! Anyway, lovin the blogs V, keep up the damn good work :)

Anonymous said...

Man, I just went to a bachlorette party at Asia SF, it was AWESOME! Those dude/chicks are hot!
Nice blog today :) The frickin stories just keep getting crazier and crazier this week. Everyone must have taken their crazy juice on monday.