Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Crackhead of the morning to ya!

Nice and early this morning. I'm a little off. I blame the move and being kinda tired.

Today's Intern: Sarah

Starbucks kicks my morning off, much like Menace got kicked off the bus and got ditched in Chinatown this morning.

NOT FAIR - Ravey and Menace got to see Batman the Dark Knight. I love love love Batman. They say it's dark, much darker and longer than expected. Ravey jumped off the Dark Knight train about 3/4 of the way in. Menace grades 100 dildos while Ravey gives it 5. Neutral and confusing. Mysterious. As always.

Tony tony tony! Is moving off the Treasure Island to San Mateo. Apparently when the station had WTR out here before they took the job, Tony looked at three places in the seven days they were here... Woody and Ravey looked at 50 places each.

Emails!
>Olivia - the SF/Berkeley heads are apathetic. They give the least when it comes to charity, they are all about free speech and open mindedness only when it means they have the spotlight and when they take the floor. Midwest donates the most, bee-tee-dubs.
>Ryan of San Jose. San Jose Pride!

News & Sports:
>Treehugger/treesitter news - people are coming down from the trees for personal reasons. However, when he got back on the ground he was arrested for many things, one of which was possession of majiuana. Pothead!
>President Bush - Oil.
>Extortion: woman tried to get $5000 by putting a rat in her meal at a restaurant.
>Oreo Cookie and Jesse Jackson controversy. McLaughlin - black on the outside, white on the inside... Yikes. Hella flack comin' your way. McLaughlin called Barack an "Oreo."
>A man's head had been severed from his body. Police determined that the man cut his head off with the chainsaw found next to his decapitated body because he was upset about being evicted. Now THAT'S a man's man.
>The Bus - one man killed and one was critically injured when their heads were struck by the overpass they were passing underneath. They decided to stand up on the upper deck and then were hit in the head. Nice. Brilliant!

>Homerun Derby news!

DumbAss Contest (2 winners)
Is it dead to real or completely retarded?
Winners won: Monster AMA Supercross

Relationships Gone Bad
*Man dies in murphy bed. Yikes.
*Woman caught fire after the engagement was called off. She doused herself with gasoline and lit herself on fire, found in the fetal position in her trailer whilst engulfed in flames.
*Niagra Falls police were informed that a woman walked into a knife on the counter. Hmmm...
*Bristol Town NJ - 19 year old girl set fire to her bf's house because she found out he took a different girl to his prom. What?
*Watch SNAPPED on Oxygen.
*Man in Canada asked his GF to carve a heart shaped symbol into his chest during rough, drunk sex. He almost died when she pressed too hard and punctured his actual heart.
*Man gets beat up by his wife for passing out beads for seeing bare breasts.
*Jealous husband put up his wife for sale on E-Bay as revenge. Guess she was a hit on E-Bay. Ha.

I'm incredibly gross today. Mind in the gutter of gutters. Oh bummer. iPhone talk makes me sad and resentful.

Music & Entertainment:
>NAS has retitled his album "N-word" to "Nas" - great!
>Picture Atlanic - Cold Play openers! YES! Good for you guys.
>Metallica (Tony's sporting their shirt) - releasing their album on the same day as Rock Banders (or is it Guitar Heros) can DL their album to the game... meh.
>Jack Black (Very Funny) School of Rock II - America Rocks.
>Christopher Ciccone - life w/ my sister Madonna. He doubts Madonna has an affair with A-rod.

Pointless Listener Poll - who do you wish horrible things upon and why?
*A man in church falls and bumps his head and wants to sue the church for the two surgeries, lost income, other stuff.
*Ravey wished that the homeless squatter would go away. He did, for about a year now. Hm. Prayer - is there something to gain from it?
*Dumpser Muffin to fall out of the tree.
*Rich brats to go bankrupt and live in 3rd world countries.
*People in the Marina.
*Prius drivers in the fast lane (funny that).
*Ex wives

We get scolded for stirring up "bad juju." This negative energy will end in no good! Make it stop.

Guess the State (1 winner)
Ohio!!
Story: Last week a guy was arrested for packing 3 tbone steaks down his shorts. different guy stuffed 8 tbone steaks down his pants from the same grocery store. store security stopped him.

Crap on Celebrities:
>13 year olds - taking flying classes. To become pilots... uh.
>Jess Alba - is almost back to her prepregnancy weight. OMG I want to be able to do that.
>Megan Fox - nude throughout the entire movie. No one dares to do it anymore. But she'd be willing to. In an arty way... lol.
>Kate Beckinsale denying a body double for White-out.

Crappy Birthdays:
Brigite Nelson - Forrest Whitaker - Jesse Ventura
Porno Birthdays:
Aja 258 films - she is 45!

Grade Today's Show: 47.5% A
Today's Just the Headline: "Illegal aliens cut in half by law."

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Awesome Blog! Man, it might just be me being a space cadet or something, but I'm like what the heck happened on the show today. I missed half the stuff on there! Between the Blog and Justin.tv I can catch up. How did Tony get so smart today? That was awesome! I'm glad he called that chick out on her BS! Keep up with the Awesomeness on the blog!

coneyisland said...

oh man good show today! i'm a huge batman fan and I cannot wait to see the new movie! it looks like it rules! i say we need to get the rest of the tree-sitters down...warn them that they need to and if not then send a bunch of termites up the tree to eat their way through their homes...those people and shia le douche deserve to die...slowly, painfully, etc...good blog vanessa as always!