Shmuesday

Hope you all had a wonderful extended weekend...

Today's Intern: Our Lady Sarah (who brought in Patron and Bio-K+, yum!)

Weekend Recap Ravey got a little sick. Woody was sick. Tony pooped thrice on the plane ride home. Greg BBQ'd it up all weekend. Menace does not like extended time off because it reminds him of life being laid off. Woody goes to Michaels for all of 2 seconds and heads over to Super K-mart. Dumpsville Alert.

Emails:

>Anna - Hooray, this weekend you guys managed to play some REALLY good music. Few new and few old songs. Food, blood, puke, and "S." Hooray on this weekend's Memorial 500 list. Woody says "you cannot fall off the floor." Brilliant.

>HMB is a beautiful place. Point taken. We get it. We anticipate the creation of Half Moon Island!

>Global Warming: your audience cares. Especially women. Continue to refer to Global Warming as a theory and you will lose your fine (and foxxy) chicks in your listening audience.

Pointless Listener Poll:
Memorial 500 Weekend

94.6% of texters really dug it

News & Sports:

>Gay wedding invites as soon as 6/14: Same sex couples can marry as soon as June 14. Yay, it's legal. There is a complication... County forms have to be uniform and they have to determine terminology for same sex couples in replacement of "bride" and "groom."

>West Virginia woman pulling off a miracle? 59 year old woman called her son while she experienced a serious heart attack. He arrives at her home and she was on the floor motionless. When the paramedics arrived her heart had stopped beating and they pronounced her dead. She was hooked up to life support and rigormotis had begun to set in. Her son started making funeral arrangements when he received a call from the hospital: as the staff pulled the plug, she came back to life 14 hours after being pronounced dead. WTF?! They expect her to make a full recovery. Wow, ultra high five for her.

>Basketball player kicked off team for being too good! 12 year old girl (awww, she's really cute) joined an all boys basketball league. No one had a problem with it until they saw her play. She's 6 foot tall. Parents and the league are using the gender card to kick her out of the league because she's better than the boys (and I'm sure she's taller, too). A college in Oregon has already offered her a scholarship. Sweet! Good luck finding a husband though...

>A's & Giants were off yesterday...

>Phillies beat the Rocky's 20-5

>Red Wings are steam rolling the Penguins.
>Detroit was the place to be! Pistons crush the Celtics.

>Big Brown horse has experienced a hiccup. A quarter crack in his left hoof. Could take days to a few months to heal.

Dumb Ass Contest (1 winner)

Greg Gory Friends Challenge (Stupid Ross. Ruined it for me, that blasse douche)

Winner won: Incredible Hulk Tickets

10 items that you think make you look cool but don't.

From Maddox's, The Best Page in the Universe. (I LOVE LOVE LOVE THAT SITE. Be sure to revisit 'I am better than your kids.') Guess he's got a book out about being a man. You can look into it, I'm already man enough.

1. iPhone
2. Ironic belt buckles
3. Bluetooth head set
4. Quoting Austin Powers, Borat, and Old School (LOL - no fair, I LOVE Boratitis.)
5. PT Cruiser (gag)
6. Tricked out bicycles
7. Rock Band video game
8. uh... uh? mmmm... huh
9. Longboard skateboards
10. Funny ringtones

CROCKS! Sunglasses when it's dark or in a building. the Prius. Nor*Cal stickers. Truck Nuts. Tite pants on straight men. Giant sports brands on their car. Spinners. Large muscular guys with shaved legs. Loud motorcycle engines. Oversized white T's. Tramp stamps. Smoking weed (lols). Chevy HHR. The guys that set up camp at Starbucks ALL DAY LONG.

Greg's semi Perma Ban from Office Max... is ANIMATED!! Click here to witness Greg's Freakout! By Chris Julian. Awesome. Hugs to him, friend of friend of Menace.

Music & Entertainment

>New Music Releases: Sex & City Soundtrack. Cindy Lauper. Usher.

>Indiana Jones = scores #1 at the Box Office. :( Shocking.

>YouTube celebrity, Chris Crocker is mentioned.

>Kim Kardashian - almost gave boyfriend Reggi Bush a heart attack after she publicly announced that she's 2 months pregnant. She was just joking.

1943 Guide to Hiring Women - 11 old school tips

• Pick young married women
• If you have to hire older women, hire those who have worked outside the home at some point in their lives
• General experience indicates that "husky" girls are more even tempered than their lean sisters
• Retain a physician to give female hires a physical examination
• Stress at the outset the importance of time
• Give female employee a definate list of tasks and duties
• Let the inside employee change from time to time
• Give every girl adaquette rest time
• Be tactful when issuing criticisms and delegating duties. It breaks their spirit and slows their efficiency
• Be considerate when using strong language around women
• Get enough size and variety in uniforms!

Guess the State (1 winner)

Ohio!!

Brittany has failed math portion of her GED repeatedly. Now she wants to pass to get her GED AND to get her father out of jail. When she was staying with her mom, she'd skip schoo. She became a mother at 16 years old and quit school altogether. The courts put Brian, her father, in charge of her education. He was charged with contribution to the deliquent of a minor. So he's in jail cuz she can't do her math.

Winner won: Incredible Hulk Tix

Fist Foot Way - tae kwon do movie? with the cats from anchor man... or something. speaking of which, check out trailer park boys. it's canadian and really funny. i know i'm not using capital letters, F U! happy?

Crap on Celebrities

>Nick Hogan whining hoping to get his butt out of jail early. Another Hogan got into an accident?

>Lindsey is not a lesbian... Cannes Film Fest and was making out friend Samantha.

>Woody Allan will disappear for 40 days and water survival to refresh his head.

>Brangelina spent $7 mill on an estate. She's expecting twins.

>JLo and Anthony are caring for their children on their OWN. their nanny up and left abruptly.

>Rob Knox in Harry Potter was stabbed to death outside of a bar.

>Dick Martin of Laughin' ... is hooking up with Kelsey Grammer and reviving his career! Huzzah! Wait, who is this?

Celebrity Birthdays

Andre 3000 - Todd Bridges - Peri Gilpin - Lou Gossett Jr.

Porno Birthday

Lexi Belle

Grade Today's Show: 66.4% A

Today's Just the Headline: "Farmer's chemical fueled vomit does something with gas."