This stupid Gatorade bottle is peeing on ME.

I know, wtf? I have baby blue milk stains all over my baby yellow tank. Booooo. Oh, and my crotch and booty... Stupid stupid.

Today's Intern: Katie, baby

Lamont and Tonnelli turn 19! Woody re-enacts an awesome promo for their morning show on the Bone and tears stream down my cheeks. Imagine your father spittin' that hip, fresh lingo. No thanks.

<--- WARNING: THIS MAN/BOY IS NOT FUNNY. Pointless Listener Poll - Is Stuart from MadTV Funny or does he Suck?
63.9% like him. He's not funny, just so you know. You're all wrong. Yes MadTV can be hilarious, but this bit. Not funny.

Emails!
*"Blogger hottie" - Thanks Jeremy Winkles, I also answer the PHONES. High five.
*Dumpster Muffin: Dave writes in. He's from Seattle. Thank goodness there are other normal people in the Bay Area. If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at? Indeed Dave, you rock.
*Jimmy participated in the weight loss challenge. Lost 35 lbs. Lookin' for a T-shirt to be a walking bilboard for the show. Yes!
*Jose - ringtones love-hate. Please post more new ringtones.
*Personal trainers make you suffer. I kind of like daht.
*Wes in Oak - needs a dead to real opinion. Been dating this girl for 6 months, totally in love with her & vice versa. She still wears her ex's boxers to bed. We highly encourage you to RIP THEM TO SHREDS and buy a new pair of the same brand. STAT! I did that when I still had feelings for an ex with these SUPER comfy kick boxing pants. I still have them, but no longer wear them...

Gay Pride!!! Hooray. Gay is Yay!!

News & Sports:
>Fire fighters of 3 states have supplied support to the Bay Area and aid our fire situation all over the Bay. Camp fire aroma stings the nostrils. But the fires are dissapating and the smell of smoke will soon fade. And I'd like to see the sun sometime this summer.
>Marijuana supporters and airports? SAFER Alternative Recreation are asking the gov't if they can smoke pot in the smoking lounges. Pot smoking aids in calming the nerves of Nervous Nilly's about to fly. The airport would run out of munchies! The Nut Cart would be out of nuts! Uh Mile High City - Denver has a MJ law? What?
>Politics something - Under the Bush administration... Conservative applicants were more accepted than the liberal applicants. Ha. Ha. Transition to allegedly news. I'm so confused. Who you know not what you know?
>Imus - defends himself the following day. He was cracking a joke but it came out the wrong way. However, he was in hot water so recently for this very exact thing, racism is a thin ice issue with him.
>Hilary - Effs herself? She's 22 million in debt!?
>Fremont - 4 stabbing victims and a gun shot victims were taken to a hospital. Sushi restaurant about 10 people were wounded. Security guard shot a girl in the leg.
>Kills herself - 42 yo woman was found in her own freezer chest. It was SO HOT. Apparently she decided to lie in her freezer to COOL OFF and ended up dying.

>One of Javon Walker's attackers were arrested in Vegas. He was apparently robbed and left on a street in Las Vegas. The other suspect is still "at large." Who says that?
>Omar Visquel - treated like a Hero for something ... he's in Baseball?
>Shaq's freestylin costs him... Shaq and Kobe are cool.

DumbAss Contest (1 winner)
Hsd CBS banned it? Firewall in this building... Tsk tsk.
Winner won: STP Tix

Music & Entertainment:
>Coldplay. Shoot me.
>Pinhead gunpowder... Green Day's somebody's side project releases EP?
>LOVE IS NOISE! Sometimes I just type phrases I hear.
>Tribute to George Carlin. YES! HBO honors the funniest old man.
>Paris Hilton has the final word (yuck): "You should not believe the stories about me demanding someone to give me a yorkie puppy... Dogs are not accessories or toys." Yeah, thanks Pair (I call her pair for short), when did you become my mother and start explaining the difference between 'responsible' and 'irresponsible.' Go choke on some dude meat.

Who knew?
Sex stuff...
Lightening strikes 6000 times on the earth
Toothpick most commonly choked on in America
Yoyo was a philipine jungle weapon
Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.
Heinz - in the 1830's ketchup was sold as a medicine
Most lipstick contains fish scales.
Techy gadget thing friend - young relatively wealthy male. low level of modesty. only buy luxury brands.

Pointless Listener Poll: What is your woman's hot button? What that one thing that will always make her mad?

• Jen hates the C-word / ex-girl friends
• Calling her fat
• Talking smack about her family
• "Relax"
• Anything other than "yes," "no," and the food order from a waitress at dinner
• Doing comparisons to other people
• Bringing up other women
• She brings up how much more money she makes than he does
• Call her man "Dude"
• Tell her BF when he's ignoring her that she'll just ask one of her other BFs (I do that)
• Tell him he's being "gay"
• Katie says she's not allowed to touch the hair on his head. He uses products to style his do.

Got Game (with one T) w/ Steve Masters me love nerd stuff, long time!
New Hulk Game! Mixxed reviews.
Sweet! DS is redoing Space Invaders!
I don't even have a TV - I'm so lame. But I'm going back to school First day for me is MONDAY. Wish me luck. MoFo's.

Grade Today's Show: 82% A

Today's Just the Headline: "Man busted for giving illegal buttocks injections."