Woody Wednesday

Starbucks breakfast of champs this morning FTW! I am adding pounds of sugar to my venti ice drip with hazelnut and half&half.

Today's Intern: Jeremy (Piven) Who keeps coming up today. I love Ari (even though Entourage strikes me as gay).

Yipes. A gas strike? Ideally it's a grand idea, but realistically it wouldn't be practical or effective. A pastor and his choir intend to use prayer to lower gas prices. Rudy Giuliani criticized by catholic cardinal or NY while the pope was in town because Giuliani supports abortion. Therefore, Giuliani cannot receive communion. Really?

Where does the money GO when we pay for a gallon of gas? [Insert Woody's stats]

OH MY GOD: the McCain Topic joins 'Men Pissing Sitting Down' on my list of stupid crap that ppl call in about.

So Bay Area Story:

Strausburg, Pennsylvania - Labeling others in Middle School (that never happens). Hippie McKenzie is taking a stance against labels and the categorization of society by wearing a white belt with signatures of others her age who support her opionion that labelism is wrong. WHAT?! It's human nature to label things! We all need to belong in some group. Sheesh, get a grip. The best part is she had 105 signatures and 5 ppl requested she take their signature off, because they realized that it was pointless and do not want to support her stance any longer. Yes!

New Coldplay - sounds like, um, well Coldplay.

News & Sports:

>Barack cannot ignore Reverend Wright anymore. Wright is condeming Obama, claiming his reaction to Wright is only to get votes. Reverend Wright is considered a serious threat to the entire campaign.

>DNA testing: released after 27 yrs in prison for a crime he didn't commit.

>New British survey report that people today are ruder than before. Swearing and spitting are the most offensive, and cutting in public lines are also common offensive behaviours of society. Hee-hee, bad parenting jokes.

>South Carolina student arrested a while back for wanting to blow up his school: has been removed from his county jail because he is a suicide threat. He has said how he wanted to die just to go to heaven to KILL JESUS. Who says that? That's awesome.

>Ooooo Stereotypes.

Greg's Chicken & Black Woman story: a woman ordered a chicken Ceasar salad for the first time EVAR- upon receiving said salad, she demanded the waiter bring "some for REALS lettuce. And put some chickens on it. Shooooooooe."

>Bay Area Teams LOST :(

>Spoooooooooooorts!!

>Stanley Cup Playoffs

>Sharks, but the Rangers and the Avalanches are down by three.

>Baseball stuff. More thingies!!

Emails:
*Dumb BF writes in about his concerns of his potential kids, his GF, and their future. Complaining about his GF after he raves about how wonderful she is... ugh barf.

Pointless Listener Poll:

Why and how did you last break up? (AOL poll)

*Text - he was wasting her time

*Phone & on Facebook - it wasn't working out

*Face to face - she was too needy

*Myspace Bulletin - Posessive BF freaking out

*Face to face - fell out of love

*Uh one guy's XGF ended up dating Angelina Jolie's brother and was engaged. But they broke it off when he texted her out of the blue.

*Phone call - her husband left her for another woman while she was at work and emptied out their house.

Music & Entertainment:

>NIN hoping to help out true fans: limited number of Best Available Seating. This is to beat out scalpers since the tickets will be able to be picked up at the Box Office on the day of the show.

>Radiohead blah blah blah. Edging the music industry.

>American Idol ratings are down this year: (really? only this year?) Fox sent out a survey to find out what viewers want.

>The Price is Right - Greg and Menace aren't fans of Drew Carrey. Plinko, what? I hate the Price is Right. I hate lots of things...

Monday: Cinco de Mayo 5/5/08

We're doing a Twofer 3-7 pm live broadcast at

Tres Gringos, Baja Cantina

83 South 2nd Street

Down Town San Jose

408-287-9888

Dumb Ass Contest (2 winners)

Will it Flush?! Six (6) bags of tea.

Winner won: STP tickets & a Woody T-shirt

Steve Masters - Gott Game

GTA IV came out Yesterday!!

Questions:

*Servers are down for online play of GTA IV. When will they be back up? Should be up soon.

*Is the Xbox vibrate purposely a "weak" setting? Or is there something wrong with my controller? Perhaps it's a setting.

Grade Today's Show: X% A

Today's Just the Headline: "Penis theft hits Capital Hill."

Welcome Back

Woody & Tony are back live today. Vanessa and Menace join them. I have a sore throat, but at least I can think straight again. Yippee.

Today's Intern: Sarah - brought in shot glasses. This doesn't seem to end!

Greg is upset that he is unable to get a Rumor from Sprint for a decent amount. Greg gets hooked up with two callers and their hints on how to get his hands on a phone. One offered to sell a white rumor to Greg for what he got it for, $50. W00t.

It's Ratings Week in the radio industry, other stations are handing out trips, money, cars, and boob jobs like candy. We, on the other hand, have a butt load (read: 20 count) of Woody Tshirts. Sweet, dude. And some uh, STP tickets? Do we? The sheet wasn't in the binder, so we're not 100% sure.

Woody reports on his pot smoking and beer drinking weekend in Pennsylvania. Jen calls in to call him out. Lalalala.

News & Sports:
>Oh, wow. Tax rebates start going out today via direct deposit. Snail mail checks will begin to be mailed out on May 9th. Caller advises that the $600 whatever that's coming out is not a rebate, but a "probate" so it's really more like a loan from whatever next year's rebate happens to total.
>Gas prices: will they be going down? One caller mentions how gas prices won't go down until alternative fuels will form a competitive
>Something about voting. Photo ID to vote.
>Fake lie detector test: Applied to a mentally differently abled (aka 'retard') Lampshade on his head with wires and hit him in the back of the neck. Hughey Granger is demanding 2 million tax free dollars.
>Oh NOES!! Tornadoes!!
>53 girls are in state custody. 31 either have kids or are pregnant. Texas law. Can get married at 16 but cannot have sex. what? 463 children. Slore time.
>73 year old Austrian man keeping his daughter locked in a windowless basement for 23 years and fathered 7 kids with his daughter. Name: Joseph Fritzl. Looks like the grinch. Yikes.

>If I were you, I'd stop relying on this blog for Sports Updates. Ravey probably hates me since I keep dropping her highlighted segment. Sorry Renne "Cupcake" Ravey. Love you!

Music & Entertainment:
>Scott Wyland gets 8 days in jail and should be able to perform at Berekeley on July 25th this summer at the Greek Theatre. The tour is on!

Crap on Celebrities:
>"Fake" topless photo of Hannah Montana... It's got a blanket covering her topless body. Yuck what an F- photo. AND her father-daughter photos that look like they are lovers not parent/offspring. Grossssssssss this photo looks like something out of a horror shoot :(
>Paparazzi suing P.Hilton and her BF for running over his foot. Who cares? You're a paparazzi.
>Cheri Oterri ~ something.

Dumb Ass Contest (2 winners)
Is it a cover song?
Winners won: Woody Good Wood T-shirts

The Homeless Guy
Menace attempts to give a blanketted homeless dude a dollar today to get him to answer him while he was downstairs checking in on him. To no avail.

CacaStories:
>Truckload of human feces.
>Woman was charged for swearing at an overflowing toilet in her apartment, next to an off duty officer.
>GreatL snakes, gators, rats crawl up through toilet bowls.
>Stand vs Sitting to PEE? The man law. 5 Billion calls, to my bloody dismay. Ugh.
>Jan Wahl (who I thought was Joan Rivers, yikes) clips to make a prank call. WTF? She says "Caca" about 30 times. Groovey.

Guess the State (1 winner)
Pennsylvania!!
A man tried to shoot down bees with a revolver while intoxicated. Accidentally he shot himself! Great. Idiot
Winner won: STP tickets

Grade Today's Show: 63.6% A

Today's Just the Headline: "Boy leaves hospital 2 weeks after dying."

I Am Slow Like Turtle

NOTE TO AVID READERS: As you noticed in yesterday's post, my writing and keeping track of the show has been severely affected by this crumby cold of mine. I promise to make it up to you over the weekend. I'll be doing damage control on Saturday from bed. Suck it. (v)

I am still sick and came in on time. YAY! Monday we'll be running the Best Of. Just so you know...

Today's Intern: Andrea, who brought in chocolate penises. Yum!!

British widower placed an add for a drinking buddy... He found one! The position has been filled.
5th graders are getting condoms distributed through a game of Tag. WHAT?!
Sr Pranks - one class poured cement to block the school bus entry and are, of course, being charged with vandalism.

We get an explination of the "Swan Song" as Friday's new way to end the week.
Caller informs us of a good movie for Greg, Cougar Club.

Emails!
*Victoria Beckham love. Her "vagina probably smells like flowers" Really?
*David Beckham hate.
*Tommy Lee love. (I prefer Tommy Lee Jones) Turns into a turn off.

News & Sports:
>Wesley Snipes was charged w/ three years of failing to file his taxes. Three years in jail. It's not illegal. He owes 2.7 million in back taxes. ironic that we were running away from taxes originally. something about 16th amendment wasn't properly ratified? the government denies.
>Reverend White. Caller commented that she's white and she agrees with the reverend.
>

>A's put on an amazing offensive?
>Second round of Sharks playoffs starts tonight!
>Raider's. Drafting someone from Arkansas?
>49er's would have had the 7th pick but now have pick #29 since the sacrificed that slot last year.

Guess the State (1 winner)
Florida!!
A Sunday school teacher accused of taking photos of his Sunday school students and pasting their faces on pornographic material. Ages ranged from girls 5 to 15 years old.
Winner Won: STP Tickets (FINALLY)

Wheel of something
HUH? This is new to me. I'm SUCKING IT today. UGH. Hello? Did this even happen? What is going on... I'm fired.

(There was a guy in prison. 26 years Logan yahoo news.)

World Records
I'll just rewatch this episode over and fill ya'll in. because THE PHONES ARE OFF THE HOOK. WTF?

Dumb Ass Contest (1.5 winners)
The Answer is C.
Winner Won: Iron Man (and STP, kinda)

Music & Entertainment:
>
>
>

Celebrity Birthdays:
Barb Streisy, blah blah blah
Porno Birthday:
something something

Jan Wahl - Movie Reviews
Favorite Sex Scenes in Movies
Monster's Ball
Team America
Fight Club
Fatal Attraction
Body Heat
KIDS!!! (lol just kidding that's from ME. Terrible movie.)
Bad Santa
Jerry McGuire
Original Sin

Official Woody Weekly Friday Song:
Ravey - Damaged by Danity Cane
Menace - Feelin' Myself by Mac Dre FTW is the winner of the first ever Friday Song
Greg - Thoughtless by Korn
Tony - This Fire by Kill Switch Engage
Woody - Good Vibrations by Marky Mark

Grade Today's Show: 0% A

Today's Just the Headline: "suck it"

Worst Post Evar

Broke my fever of 102 during the night. Katie, the intern, drove me to work this morning because she's awesome.

Today's Intern: Katie, who brought in donuts for us today! Yes!! Katie + Donuts for the win.

Woody would use "dummy quarters" to steal sodas from vending machines by drilling holes in certain places.

Emails:
*Steven's GF mixed up his birthday with an ex boyfriend's birthday. We think he should look into it, since he suspects there's something up with her and the ex BF... Dun dun nuh.
*Fund Raisers: Rock and Roll Marathon in San Diego. This Saturday 4/26 at 4:30 she's also having a Bowling fund raiser, in San Mateo. YAY!
*Ravey Love!! No hating on Ravey.
*Vanessa the phone chick - is "haaaaaaaaawt." Thank you ^_^
*Jamie donated $5 to kick off the Vanessa Parking Fund. Jamie from the Reno 911. Sweet!
*Lucas, new listener, transfered from the Bone. Sweet, dude. FCC chat. Errrr? Something about Vanessa. LALALA I was on the phone. :(
*Man up! Some dude wrote in to call out Woody and raise the Man Power topic. Cripes. WTR crack me up with their Man-room antics. Who needs carpet? I need mud!

Someone called to mention how Tman sounds like the radio character on the Simpsons. Special.

Dumb Ass Contest (1 winner)
Impossible Trivia: 1 in 5 men admit to doing this on Saturday morning. Watch Cartoons.
Winner won: Iron Man

News & Sports:
>Obama & Clinton things.
>A prostitute's parents found out about her career after she appeared on television, even though her face was shadowed out and her voice was altered.
> Modesto, CA: some terrible story and Menace + the show state their hate for Modesto. Callers request an apology.
>Charges filed against 18 year old guy who is HIV positive with endangering his partner.
>Penis Snatcher Story: in the Congo 13 suspected sorcerers of penis shrinking or disappearing. The penis shrinking can supposedly be reversed after paying for the cure.

>Giants won last night. 3/2
>A's won 3/0.
>Laker's over the Nuggets.
>NFL reached a deal w/ Matt Walsh
>NHL round II start tonight!

Sexy Time Fun Facts
Rebecca and James were getting kinky in their trailer. She left James tied up for 20 hours to meet with someone else at a motel. James died from asphyxiation. Rebecca will be charged with reckless homicide.

*Which one celebrity would you bang? The list of 100 Sexiest Women from FHM.
Jessica Alba
Jessica Biel
Angelina Jolie
The Rock
Emma Watson
Natalie Portman
Sloane on Entorage
Kate Bekinsale
Jessica Gap
Rosario Dawson
Mila Kunis
Lisa Ford
Lucy Liu
Chuck Liddel
Kathy Bates
La Buef dude
Olivia Munn ~ Attack of the Show (what?)
Genine Garafallo
Jennifer Garner
Alicia Silverstone

*Men who watch tons of porno, are they overly picky and critical of how women look?
We think so. We (well I) discover that Tony used The Pump.

*Couples' Common Celeb Sex Pact:
Someone called in with a story about how his band wound up at Elissa Milano's house one night and his band member had her on his "celeb to-do" list. He called his GF to let her know that he was there, and naturally she freaked out.

Caller told me his tragic Cochella story. Frank SJ. went to see rage, the kicked him out for having weed. was wasted. tried like 4 times to get back in to see them play. and he finally saw them after it got dark. they were going to arrest him for trespassing.

Janelle Wang & Spencer Christian
Hosts of 'View from the Bay'
Tony has a huge crush on Janelle, who doesn't? She's super beautiful! (Insert images of Tony shaking an angry fist to Janelle here) Weekdays at 3pm. Spencer just got remarried, it was kind of a top-secret wedding. Janelle is 35 while Spencer is 60.

Grade Today's Show: 71% A

Today's Just the Headline: "Man arrested for pumping gas into imaginary car."

Who is Whore Wednesday?

Last night I got really sick, a sore throat developed into a cold. I'm feeling functional and am hopped up on Tylenol pain, AM, PM, and anything else they manufacture... At least I'm here. Can't call in sick the first month of screening. Hell I've already been late. Booo.

Today's Intern: Jeremey (who BARTed it here)

How was your Earth Day? That's nice. Menace smells good today. Johnny Depp is filming a movie in Illinois, the wine there sucked so much he had to fly in wine from his French Vineyard for the duration of his filming out there. He's still hot, though. AmIright?

Hip Hop discussion rolls out of control. Nas and his "N-word" song that's currently being released. Akon also comes up because authorities called his bluff about what he claimed to be actual about his "hard life" as it turns out he served less time and faced lower charges than he raps about. *Shrug*

Vanessa's Parking Fund - We are raising money to help ease the pain of my multiple parking tickets out here at the KITS building. So far, I've racked up $160 in tickets to the city of San Francisco. Perhaps I'll even get another one, today. Wheeee! On your right there is a ChipIn widget where, if you're feeling sympathetic and generous, you can add $1 or even $200 to the fund. Whatever floats your fantastic boat. Thank you all so much! Currently at $33.26!! Almost a whole Ticket has been paid off. Love it! Love you.

Parking phone call: Broadway and Samsone towards Fisherman's Wharf on the right free parking on the 2nd block.

News & Sports
>Clinton has a big win in Pennsylvania. She won the Primary by a 10 point margin. May 6th is the NC/Indiana Primary.
>Brain farts - fact or fiction. Fact! Abnormal brain activity. 30 seconds BEFORE the actual blunder, due to a hiccup in the brain waves.
>A priest stayed aloft being tied to a bunch of helium balloons for 19 hours. He's gone missing, off the coast of Brazil. Fortunately he was wearing a helmet and thermal suit and was equipped with a satellite phone, bouyant chair, GPS is an experienced sky diver. Should be floating somewhere in the ocean.

>Sharks kick butt in Game 7. They advance to the second round. The oldest memeber steps up to the plate.
>Colorado/Detroid - more hockey
>NBA New Orleans over Dallas
>Arizona & Giants: tale of two pitchers... something about 81 years since something amazing... lol I'm SO sorry.

Music and Entertainment
>STP - will be in the studio after their reunion tour this summer.
>NBC sitcome swap: swapping scrubs and thirty rock? what is thirty rock?
>Celebrity Circus - circus of the stars... what?
>Gwennie Paltrow taking things a bit too seriously: Liv Tyler & Maggie Gylenhal. What super hero power they'd like to have. Regarding X-ray vision she replies, "there's an ethical line there you just don't want to cross."

Happy Happy Story:
Minnesota: Recently Anthony took his son, Hunter, turkey hunting. Anthony told Hunter to stay behind him, saw some movement in the brush and fired off his gun. Turns out the rustling wasn't a turkey like he thought, it was his son, Hunter. Hunter was shot in the chest and Anthony immediately dialed 911.

Dumb Ass Contest (2 winners)
What is your phobia?
Winners won: Beer Fest Tickets

WTF Stories - Creepers
*A male wore a thong doing what? Ew.
*We discover that Tony must completely remove his pants to do deed #4, and lay down a towel on his leather chair. What? Why? It just goes on and on. Check it out at Justin.tv for details. Use SOCKS, for the love of God.
*Tranny attacks an adult book store with his Geo Trakker.
*South African man makes his 100 foot long bungee cord out of condoms. He was contemplating this idea for about a year and finally constructed it. 18,5000 condoms! Did his test run and it worked successfully. Not sure what the brand of condoms used was.
*Wife attacks husband with a car? Missed it. He was locked in the trunk?
*Woody quotes Menace for claiming that Philipino women are crazy. Is "passionate" a better synonym? A Philipino woman suspected her BF was cheating and sliced off his wiener one night and doctors reattached his junk. He is not taking any legal action against her because they have 4 children and wants to keep the family together. They are not sure he will be able to function sexually ever again. I guess only time will tell.

Pointless Listener Poll
Who is a bigger weiner when it comes to being sick, men or women? Hey, I'm sick today, and I'm toughing it out. I think that's a point towards the guys, for being total whiney bitches.
*Depends on whether or not you're single.
*Guys have the vote!
*Women have a higher pain tolerance than men.
*However women tend to pull the hypochondriac for attention.
*A mother called in to describe how her newest baby was born 4 months ago, she suffered from bad back labor. Recently her daughter came home w/ strep throat and naturally everyone in the house catches it. Only her husband it whining about being miserable. And she has to take care of everyone, when I'm guessing she's suffering the most. Great! I'd ask him to shut it.
*Another caller reports working at a warehouse, puking while he continued to put parts in a stamping machine, apparently some sort of death trap. Vomit, death trap machine, and sucking it up to get paid. Well done. I don't have to handle death traps, but phones. And I'm here. Round of High Fives.

Guess the State (1 winner)
Florida!!
A man was arrested for throwing his fluids around in public. A woman punched him after he urinated on a child. He was, obviously, severely intoxicated and was unaware that he was peeing on a little boy. Yuck.
Winner Won: Tickets to STP before they go on sale

Nerd Alert: (I love nerds!)
*Mario Cart for Wii is coming out tomorrow ... in NY.
*Silent Hill is going to release another game in the future. Be sure to check out gottgame.com sometime for gaming info!

*Lazlo is in with insider info for the GTA IV that's coming out... Attention to detail. Comes out Next Tuesday for Play Station 3 & Xbox. W00t!
GTA IV Questions Galore:
[This game is SICK!!!]
For multiplayer mode, there's a free roam mode: 16 players YES and you CAN wander the entire city. There's a Cops & Crooks mode where the idea is to get rid of the Mobster leader... Sweet.
What was Lazlo's favorite GTA Project? GTA III was a nice surprise for him. And San Andreas was probably his favorite project in terms of authenticity and fun.

Grade Today's Show: 0% A

Today's Just the Headline: N/A

This is Tuesday.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Children of the Slorn

Feelin' barfy. The majority of the crew here want to puke, it's so early. Long weekend. Bleh. On another note, Phone-screening Webcam is up and running. So, rejoice.

Today's Intern: (WebCam) Sam

Half-hearted weekend recap. For those of us unnaware of the "Windy City's" real name sake, it's because back in the day, the folks out there were "windy" in the sense that they talked a lot, had a lot to say about anything. Not because it was literally meterologically breezy. Who knew? Not I.

Senior Prom '08 - WebCam Sam describes his Prom this weekend. He and his lady companion did not eat dinner before the big HS social event. Everyone met up at one house, took a limo to SF City Hall. After-Prom Party... Sam apparently did not get laid. Make that, "supposedly." He didn't want to reveal private matters of his life on-air. Who can blame him? We are convinced he's LYING, however, about the actual events of his prom night and the occurences of SEX. But, we weren't there, so we don't know. Mystery to be unsolved. Forever.

Woody was kind enough to bring up how I am "backed up." I haven't pooped since Friday. Yeah, it's Monday. Anyway that digression ended on the ketchup bottle and knife imagery. Thanks. By 7am I did the highly anticipated drop. Hooray & sorry, Ravey. I make stinky! Too shy to spray um Glade. No matches, thus I was unprepared. I just assumed I'd keep it in for life.

Friday meeting with Dave: Flobots discussion. Woody thinks it's an annoying song. It's a catchy song. Either you like it or you don't. Flowbots are playing BFD. Tony, Greg, and Menace are not fans. Ravey and I don't mind it. 'Handlebars.'
Pointless Listener Poll: "Should we play the Flobots on the morning show?" Yes-No-Ban?
55% of listeners Ban it!
Mixed review. Chicks who hate them. Dudes who love them. Mostly men who dislike, chicks who tend to dig them. One girl called in to mention how it sounds like Cake, with bad lyrics. Also noted how they sound like Crank Yankers and early Eminem. Woot. Flobots, no more!

News & Sports:
> Bomb plot - more kids with hate and big scary chemicals from the internet. Yikes.
> Homeless People - Hippie in a tree-house lost his house. He received an RV to live in for a penny because neighbors saved up and purchased one for him.
> Oldest lady in Shelbyville, Alabama 115th birthday!! She's been a widow since 1938. She was 33 when TV was invented and has outlived two of her kids. She credits living this long to 'not being a worrier.' Try to live stress free, so stop freaking out!

> Sharks: Game 6 - 2/11 Calgary Flames. The Sharks put in no visible effort. Booooo. I <3> Giants: Uhm, won 8 to 2.
> NBA playoffs: basketball
> Danika Patrick: first female winner in auto racing!! Yeah, you go, girl.

Music & Entertainment:
> Forbidden Kingdom = #1 followed by Forgetting Sarah Marshall
> Green Day's releasing a new album, Stop Drop and Roll, soon under Foxboro Hot Tubs.
> Slash says Velvet Revolver is planning on having singers audition online via the internet/their website.
> Something about Fuel and a vocalist. Sorry, love you!

Dumb Ass Contest (1 winner)
Vanessa Fun Facts! True or False?
If you missed it, it's on Justin.tv/thewoodyshow so check out the details and (re)watch the info from this morning!
The winner received two tickets to the SF International Beer Fest. Das Boot FTW!

HATE HATE HATE! Hate the Children:
This all started with a woman who freaked out about Menace's comment about Hannah Montana, when he called her a "dumb bitch." This context is taken from a reaction to the amount of revenue this 15 year old generates and how she pretty much sucks to us "grown ups" if we even qualify. Do we qualify? Menace is a woman hater. YAY!

Andy Milanaukus - Is not a kid, first of all, but behaves and appears as one often confusing people. He's like 28 or 31 years old... Look it up, it's hilarious.

Haley Joel Osmont
Dakota Fanning
Chick from Juno, Ellen Page (she's not a kid, just played one?)
Abigail Breslin, Little Miss Sunshine's Olive

By the way ~ we hate on how parents refer to themselves as "Mommy" or "Daddy" in the third person. AND how grown ups call other parents "Mom" and "Dad" even though those parents are not (insert dooshy grown up here)'s parents. BARF.

Callers: Ghetto "red-nexican" kids and their ghetto "I'll whoop your butt" parents. Crackhead input?
*Parents that are over protective to the point of rearing their children so when they finally DO enter the real world, life backfires for them. Depressing, but expected.
*Kids who call you on your lies and ruin everything. Mom tells suitor, "I can't because I'm busy that day," and the kids pipes up, "No you're not." UGH!! Shut up you little squirt.
*Little FAT kids. (Awww, I love fat kids, as long as they're not mine!) But they're always stuffing their face, often times it's 'cuz it's the most convenient way for parents to console their chubby brats. *Truffle Shuffle*
*Preschool teacher: 5 year-olds throwing tantrums like 2 year-olds. Talking back and bossy. Ugh.
*Someone who works security at Target: Kids who stand in carts and parents don't have them sit down. More PARENTAL HATE here. Bad parents = horrible children. WHY?! Stop breeding, you idiots.
*Can't stand kids in the booths behind you and keep staring at other tables, breathing or snotting down your neck while you try to enjoy your friends' company. AIRPLANES are even worse with little monkeys kicking your seat or wiggling next to you for the duration of the flight, 30 minutes or 5 hours. Either way, it's suicide.

Rana Rowena Whitehead was an English (?) teacher for sophomore or junior year at Brentwood High. Her student called in to claim that she's a "wretched bitch." Classic.

Guess the State (1 winner)
Ohio!!
A guy handcuffed his new wife inside a dog cage after getting married in Las Vegas. He let two dogs inside the cage. The couple often fought and yelled obsenities in the front yard. He was charged with domestic violence and drug charges. They also have a 20 month old son. Thank goodness they are spawning!
Winner won tickets for 2 to see a special screening of Iron Man.

Celebrity Birthdays: Andie MacDowell, the Cure's Robert Smith, Tony Danza's 57, Iggy Pop, Queen Elizabeth II.
Porno Birthday: Paizley Adams AKA Annie Bunz... unf!

E-pro (spell?) by BECK!!! & 'Girl' Atari song? Bah! Nope, Tony likes the "Hell Yes" by Beck. We all do.

Grade Today's Show: 76% A

Today's Just the Headline: "Big Unit still feels good in the desert."

Free Porno Friday!

Buenos Dias! Nothing new and exciting to report on my end. Battled a cold that the boyfriend seems to be suffering from with Xicam and sleep. Woke up feelin' fine after watching Cloverfield and passing out at 9:00 pm. Thank you, that makes 3 consecutive days.

Today's Intern: Andrea

Apparently lots of people feel like this week flew by! I'm just sleepy.

Radio Politics... GAH & Bwahahaha. The ratings conversation, morning show design and how we don't set-up fake calls... Most common example: a morning show calls a alleged listener's wife as a "birthday prank" saying he's been fired from his job. Her reaction is irate and she announces that she's glad she slept with her husband's brother. Yeah, right. THIS HAS BEEN ON MORNING SHOWS ACROSS AMERICA. Wake up. Which brings us to the billion calls begging us to stoppit. When all we're doing is asking the audience to stoppit. Stop asking us to do crap instead of what it is we do. (sorry?)

It is Free Pr0n Friday!! Woody's getting rid of some his excess porn.

The new spin on porn - porn for the blind, with a narrator. Interesting. I like how Tony said, "Cuz doesn't masturbation make you go blind?" This blind porn is FREE online. 8th Street Latina's. Wow, I would love to post the transcribed script of this right here: __________. This is hilarious because it's not as "hot" as I thought it would be, since we don't HEAR the porn stars. We hear a politically correct narrator explain the actual act...

Hot Teen News:

>Columbus, OH - Naked Text Messaging!! Remember playing "cootie catcher" and "MASH?" This is basically kid porn among kids as early as MIDDLE SCHOOL (13 year-olds). This is why kids are having kids. Ridiculous. Whatever happened to copping a feel after school, finger banging, and first time blow jobs? Do phones/internet really have to do anything with this?

>There was another story, and I do my best to multi-task, but I got 6 calls about cootie catchers, so. You can kiss that good bye!

Bag of Porn! (1 winner Iron Man)

Placing bets of timing: How long will it take for someone to grab a bag of porn left on a street corner.

8:15 - 8:24 it was 9 minutes!

3 minutes - Chad

6 minutes - Steven

18 minutes - Jeremy

20 minutes - Cecil

6 & 10 seconds minutes - Danny

25 minutes - Jackie

Not by end of show - Pablo

Roz G: Comedian is in the house! Last Comic Standing winner arrived to witness the grabbing of the bag o' porn. Yay. She's a the PunchLine tonight. Here are the details for her show at le Punch Line:

Roz G w/ Louis Katz, Moshe Kasher
Friday & Saturday April 18 &19, 2008
Doors: 7:00 pm Show: 8:00 pm
444 Battery Street
San Francisco, CA 94111
415.397.4337

News & Sports:
>5.4 earthquake in Illinois strongest ever recorded in Midwest. No injuries, but shook Chicago sky scrapers. Bush's Earthquake Button

>Uh erm um... Shipping a 9 story carnival ride? Whaaaa~?

>Phones. I tuned out. More fail, next week. I promise.

>ChiChu... What is a Chichu?

>Sharks uhhh... play hockey?

>Dallas has a lead. No idea.

>Boston v Montreal

>Collorado WHAT SPORT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?

>Blah blah series. OMG! RAVEY SLOW IT DOWN or hand me your sports report paper. This is another foreign language to me. Sorry sports fanatics.

Caller>> RE: 22 inning game. 2 HS in Japan played 2 innings with 1 out and 66 runs. "Yahoo news. check it out!" Why don't ppl just call in and speak Russian at me? Seriously.

Music & Entertainment:
>Dave Grohl mentions that he loved working at Tower Records. Tower is now a dead record store (yeah, there are a few ones here and there... but DONE).

>David Hasselhoff got screwed in the divorce. Bitches!!

>Naomi Campbell is banned from British Airways. And she's "boycotting them." Lol, WHAT? No, they boycotted YOU FIRST, Dummy.

Hate Mail / Hate Stuff

>Hating on famous kids...? Angry mother emailed.

>Kareem Abdul Jabar: Horton Hear's a Who... 96 cheerful daughters, and 1 brooding son paints a clear picture of SEXISM. Caller/Webcam Chatter mentions that Cat in the Hat is an anti-racist commentary - male & female are white, the Cat is a tall black persuasive male, and the fish is German and his name spells out "KKK."

Jan Wahl Hat Lady & Movie Reviewer: 4 possible hats

Mentioned Flesh Gordon is her favorite Porno, caller agrees that it is "hilarious." I don't know about you, but I'll be watching that this weekend.

*Forbidden Kingdom with Jackie Chan + Jet Li

3 Hats (Not her favorite but the cinematography was "beautiful")

*Forgetting Sarah Marshall with Mila Kunis and Jason Segal (sp?)

2 Hats (We discuss on-screen penis) Yum?

Concert Shout Out

Thriving Ivory playing tonight @ Great American Music Hall 8:30pm

MySpace Linkus Here!!

Grade Today's Show: 93.6% A

Today's Just Headline: "Police begin to run down J-walkers."

Thirsty Thursday

Bleeeeeergh. I was almost late this morning. Suck it. Oh, look what I found: da break up song generator. LOL enjoy ya'll.

BFD ACTIVISTS AND TICKET BUYERS: people called in this morning w/ Qs about seating. It IS festival seating so first come first serve. As it says on the website, doors open at 11:30 June 7th on the day of the concert. Any questions, call us! 800-696-1053. Cheers!

Today's Intern: Katy (hawt)

A kid was left in a car that was TOWED. Former tow truck driver informs us of the "hook and book" mentality tow truck drivers have to make commission... Wild.

Overbooked tickets on planes. The government's Transportation Dept announced that airlines MUST compensate the bumped fliers with cash. Within 2 hours of getting bumped passengers on a flight to their destination they pay $400, within 4 hours it's $800. Story *here.*

Commentary that the new Weezer sounds similar to Sugar Ray [texted in]. Weird.

News & Sports:
> Clinton & Obama - debate last night in Philly. WTR address the possibility of someone new rising from the Clinton/Obama race during the convention. John McCain bashing follows. He's to the right... Don't forget to VOTE, people.
> Cold Case - San Jose authorities made an arrest for a murder that took place in 1988. A woman had died from multiple stab wounds, DNA solved the case! Go forensics. The link to the story is here, the photos remind me of the OJ Simpson case. HA!
> China's Financial Status - something about their merchandise. Crap? We think so. (I kinda tuned out for this one, sorry guys!) Here's a related story, I'm sure.
> Lethal Injection is cruel and unusual punishment?
> Airborne Eclipse attempt to make a video on YouTube: the driver is now in critical condition.... Where's the VIDEO? Stop being STUPID!! You are not Steve-O we already have one, and he's doing just fine. Thanks.

> The Golden State Warriors lost to the Seattle SuperSonics. Score: 126/121
> Sharks can pull ahead in series w/ the Calgary Flames. Tied @ 2. 7pm @ the Tank tonight. [For the record, I'm not a sports junky, but hockey I DO care about. Kinda.]
> Giants and A's: both losers yesterday. What the heck?! Come on, guys!

Dumb Ass Contest (1 winner)
Nick Name Match Game ~ proves to be a reeeeal challenge. Yikes.

We have plenty of WATER. So USE it, per Woody. Water Water Water.

WTR Mail:
*Olive skinned Italian man sends Ravey his love.
*Something about being "gay" for the show? Does that even make sense? A show with many people has one sexuality - Gay. Nice. We learn something new every day.
*BFD Question: VIP passes like last year's Coming of Cancer? We'll be addressing an angle on a benefit for VIP Passes later on.
*BFD 08 Hate: No wonder tickets are $10.53. This year's line up is "Whack..."
*Someone's leaving Sarah & NoName, Matty? They offered to Greg to go join their team. Huh?

Greg Hate Mail (much like sports, this is typically over my head.)
#1 Suzanne in Hayward - Retaliating against Greg's support of Bush. Attack of the Logics.
#2 Trayber - Repeat writer. Water Boarding... What's going on? MORE LOGIC mud slinging. Greg calls him a "moon bat."
#3 Non-Patriot David - wow. Fueled by hate and anger towards America.
Followed by a 5-7 minute Greg Love vs Greg Hate phone banter. Too bad Greg's new admirer CURSED over the airwaves. We still love you - just don't let it happen again.

Doug Benson
Swung by the show today. We love Doug. His new documentary is called "Super High Me" playing at the Roxy Theater, who actually extended the run for an extra week. He will be at the Improv tonight in San Jose. All tickets are 2 for 1 tonight for all Live 105 listeners. If you call the Improv say "Live 105" to get in on the deal, and online the code phrase is "SUPER HIGH ME" in ALL CAPS. Be sure to check him out!
Improv Phone Number: (408) 280-7475

Callers & texters wanted to know what Doug's doing for 4/20!? Maybe smoking some weeeeeeeed. Lol. Same weekend as Passover. Hilter's birthday. Ravey's Mom's birthday. Columbine shooting AND Oaklahoma City shooting anniversary. Cyprus Hill Concert at Filmore. He'll be in LA doing shows at the Improv down in Southern California.

BTW: Doug threw out there that he would like to be in a 3-way! Girls, comment on this and we can set something up. (Am I kidding? Possibly.... Send photos.)

Music & Entertainment Report:
>Mexico has hate for Emo kids. My Chemical Romance lead singer spoke out in Emo kids' defence. Violence against 800+ kids in Central & South America brings us to Emo Hunt, a brainstorm for a new TV reality show. Any pick ups?
>DVD Radiohead the Best Of - Coming out soon.
>AFI issuing new EP. Release 06/10/08?
>Jane's Addiction is reuniting with their original bassist. This will be the first time since 1991. They are receiving the "God-Like Genius Award."
>ABC is scrapping revival of Circus of the Stars... much to Tony's dismay.

Sexy Time Fun Facts / Pointless Poll
Odd locations for sex - places that sounded good in theory but ended up being crappy in actuality.
* Attempted the deed in back of a cab last weekend, ended up being super uncomfortable.
* Ocean in the Phillipines
* Office Desk
* Bathroom/kitchen floor ~ tile
* College Bell Tower - 20 degrees below Zero
* Roof of a Mall
* On top of a surf board at his girl's sorority garage
* A Port-a-Potty and his friends ROCKED it back and forth
* At a volcano - YESS!!!!
* Dressing room at fredricks of hollywood in eastridge mall
* Floor of bathroom at san diego sports arena
* Row boat in lake. did not tip over and DID finish
* Underneath a train bridge
* Alameda in the bird sanctuary

But is She Hot?

Carla Scharbach AKA Mad Eye Moody
Verdict is GUILTY!


Second arrest for this teacher: Stephanie Ragusa. Having sex with a student - AGAIN! The 15 year old "victim" had sex with her. Tampa, FL. Wow oral sex and intercourse. More than 20 times. Her last "victim" was 14.
Verdict is MIXED!!

Grade Today's Show: 81% A

Today's Just The Headline: "Stroke patients go 'Whee' at hospital."

Bitch Bitch Bitch

HUMP DAY! Taxes should be all taken care of... extentions requested. Whatever. Menace got his taxes done yesterday in the 11th hour. Lesson learned: You cannot pay the federal government in CASH. Surprise.

Today's Intern: Jeremy

Last night Woody, Jen, Tony, Beth, and Dean celebrated Jen's birthday at Bucca di Beppo's! Coach bags discussion. YAY!

Ravey has a sore throat ~ concern about the return of larengitis (sp?)...

Sex in the shower - Jen drunkenly claimed to LOOOOOOVE it, much to Woody's surprise. In reality, she does not. Who does?? Certainly not I. Apparently it was a joke. Which brings us to the "I was drunk" excuse for doing stupid, regretable, embarrassing things. YES!

Priuses are a vandalism target in Petaluma. Authorities have no idea why. We discussed Zip/Zap Cars & Smarte Cartes. A caller mentioned how gas would have to be $9.00 a gallon before driving a Prius (for 10 years) would prove to be economical. This is not proven by us, I guess he did the math or researched it. Someone else mentioned that his Ford Excursion is a diesel and it costs $175 to FILL UP. Remember when it was $1.72 a gallon, hopefully this is not the painful price you're paying to fill up right now!

Apocalyptica is on the Woody Show this morning. They're playing at Slim's tonight at 8pm. Check them out!

Slim's Tickets Contest (5 winners)
Won tickets to tonight's show and a copy of the new album.
They are Finnish! And they ROCK!! They're released their new album "Worlds Collide."

News & Sports:
>Pope comes to America! How will they keep pedophiles out of the priesthood??
>Bush on Green House Gas Emitions...
>A dude in Hunting Park found a bag full of $20 totalling $140,000. Apparently it fell off of a Brinks truck (armored car) and they awarded the finder of the bag $2000.
>Motley Crew held a press conference to announce CREW FEST beginning 7/1/08. Woot! 06/17/08 releasing a new album. Look up therockvine.com. DLable online or playable on the newest version of Rock Band.

Caca Segway: Woody's in bed trying to sleep, suddenly busts out laughing. Jen asks what's so funny, and Woody explains that he's thinking about all the things you can do with caca, ie: placing log of caca in a crock pot and turning it on for a day to cook. Or, a log of a caca in a waffler. Tony contributes freezing liquid caca and making poopsicles. Lovely. Hey, EVERYONE POOPS!!

Back to Sports:
>Ravey reports on the Sharks in Sports. I'm not doing a very good job of the sports recap :( Check it out at ESPN.com, or something?
>Sports 2
>Sports 3

Brandi Hater revival: 'Touche' email response. Plans to report the on-air incident. Waaaaa. Through her latest reply we learned that "bugger" is British slang for partaking in anal sex. How appropriate? We love to Hate.

Pointless Poll
1 of 10 will go thru internet history & 1 in 5 go thru text messages and emails....
What did you discover from snooping around your significant other's email/text messages/calls?
Consensus: DISCOVERED THAT THEY WERE BROKED UP or being cheated on. Bummer. Only one woman called to explain that she is a real "bitch" because her man texted and emailed his pals about her and how much he loves her. She now rewards him with a type of sex that is difficult to say on air. Congrats, you found a winner.

There was a jail bird story.
Her BF was upfront w/ her about seeing someone else, but this other woman was married. They were sending nude photos of themselves to each other... booo.
It boils down to trust. Trust trust trust. Rare to really trust others in this day and age.

Guess the State (1 winner)
Florida!!
Drunk mother flees car accident scene and her 6 year old daughter, since, "that's what they do on COPS."

Steve Masters
Calling from Las Vegas, much to Greg's jealousy.
Motley Crue put their single on Rock Band. So you can hear it before it goes on sale.
SAT game is educational!! Not sure what console that's for... oops!
Calls about the sex game on Wii, SoCom (??), PC game "Spore" and it's extended release date. Nerd love <3

Grade Today's Show: 68.2% A

Today's Just the Headline: "Head found, could be murder victim."

Lalalala Late

Can you say 'embarrassing?' Speeding to work, overslept still half asleep, listening to your boss publicly rip you a new one for being late on your second official day at your new job. A wonderful and highly desired job, if I'm understanding things correctly. How stupid! I feel terrible, but I've had thongs fall out of my pants whilst walking around two separate other jobs, so (yes, they were MINE, gosh - SORRY) this was simply unprofessional. Not mortifying, 'please kill me now' embarrassing, so I'll survive.

Today's Intern: Sarah

Tax day. Boo. Calls about how listeners will be spending their tax return. Lots of calls with Tax Facts and sad stories about what they OWE not what they will be receiving back. :( Sad Panda. However someone offered to spend his tax return on me, but I was on the other line and couldn't contribute to the conversation regarding the potential generous (not so generous?) offer... But thanks, dude!


More hate mail. Yay! Woody read a letter on-air that he was practically dared to by Brandy (is that with an "i?"). We kind of revealed her number on air, and attempted repeatedly to get a hold of her to discuss the things she brought up in her Hate Mail. However we experience Pure & Utter Fail. Everyone say it with me, "Lalala lalala. You will never get this."

News & Sports:
>story 1
>story 2
>story 4

>sports a
>sports b
>sports c

WE DISCUSSED MANY OTHER EXCITING THINGS. I MUST FINISH THIS STUFF WHEN I HAVE MORE TIME. LOVE YOU GUYS!! WTR PRIDE. you, too, blood.

Iron Man Sneak Preview Tickets @ Metreon - Contests:

Dumb Ass Contest (2 winners)
Who's the Boss?

Guess the State (1 winner)
Florida!!
"Pink Flamingo" was the dead give away in terminology... A 44 year old, 51 year old, and 27 (?) year old stripper were shot at with paint balls one afternoon. Cops were involved. Yadda Yadda.

Grade Today's Show: ?% A

Today's Just the Headline: ""

Beginning of a New Era

Greetings and Salutations, Live 105 listeners!

This blog, for the most part, will be brought to you by Vanessa, the new phone screener for the Woody Show at KITS, 105.3.

Today's Intern: Sam

Weekend Recap:
Ravey returned from North Carolina and Greg was in Las Vegas this past weekend. Nothing new or exciting to report regarding Tony, Menace, Woody, or Vanessa's weekend, so 'booooo' on that.

We started off with some hate mail. INSERT THE SHOW DATA HERE!

Today was the official announcement of this year's BFD line up!! Tickets are on sale Sunday, 4/17 for Activists and 4/20 for the general public. All tickets are $10.53


Old School Logo.

News & Sports:
>story 1
>story 2
>story 4

>sports a
>sports b
>sports c



This week's contest prize:
Iron Man
Tues April 29, 2008
Metreon Theater in San Francisco
Winners will receive their passes in the mail.

Dumb Ass Contest (1 winner)
Describe.

Guess the State (1 winner)
Ohio!!
Story Here.

Grade Today's Show: ?% A

Today's Just the Headline: "____."