You are just a person.

Things couldn't get any worse. When it rains, it pours. Welcome to the Island of Conclusions. PS, weirdos, I thought yesterday's blog stunk!

Wednesday 5:57 Crazybitch ~ Buckcherry

Today's Intern: Sarah rules, boys drool

Beetle... had an inadvertant sleepover to Menace's surprise. But, she is alive, she just called his phone. Hooray! We love you, Jackie.

I get made fun of for having a small studio with a teeny weeny fridge. And then for being fat-thin. Not fishing for compliments, I just... these are small jeans.

Boo on American Idol. They're taking out more of the audition shows, due to the ratings they decided that the audience is more interested in the actual competition, not the initial screening. THAT'S THE BEST PART!! I like seeing failures try to sing, who doesn't? Menace will be heading down to harrass some of the people in line for the auditions... tomorrow.

Emails!

>iPhone stuff. Turn off your GPS. Thanks Lloyd. Saves your battery, too!

>Francisco asks, would you date a man or woman w/o a cell phone? I'm single and I don't have a cell phone and people often ask why I don't have a cell phone. I don't think it's that big a deal. Woody brings up the point that he would NOT date someone w/o a celly because it's impossible to get ahold of them, emergency or otherwise. And it leaves room for shenanigans.

>Who do you wish horrible things upon?

*My 400 lb coworker who adjusts her downstairs lips after standing up.

*We hated my sister's piano teacher and she voodoo dolled him. He died a year later. Delayed voodoo. Woohoo.

>Denise is a mad mother. Yesterday morning I borrowed my daughter's car and was appalled at the response to the story of the man hitting his wife after she started a fight. Actually, I don't care WHO started it, the response should have been, "you never hit a woman!" Mmmhm.

News & Sports:

>Economy talk. Debt, bad loans, the banks. Booooo. Woody's empty flight to Jersey. Dumping money into claw machines and (me for breakfast) vending machines. Kathy Griffin's show had $12 beers and a seven mile line for said beer. The three hour line outside of Apple for the iPhone.

*People are pawning off their ... grille. Zomg. Kendra of the Girls Next Door has one. She should be shot. (I love you Holly) It's just a bunch of sparkly garbage on your teeth.*

>Someone bit off the eyebrow of his brother-in-law. Who does that?

>CA Board of Parole - Susan Atkins, the Manson follower, has denied her of her request to be out of prison. She's been in prison for 37 years. Her husband (wow) said one of her legs has been amputated, paralyzed on one side of her body. But, she's useless out or in prison. No compassion for someone who had no compassion for a person they murdered.

>Hidden camera released of a 16 year old in Guantanamo Bay son of an Alkaida financier. He threw a granade at a soldier.

>UK - 32 year old woman hid the body of her still born baby from her BF and friends in her trunk. She didn't want her BF to know about her affair so she explained the weight gain was a result of an allergic reaction to wheat. WHEAT?!

>American League claimed the victory?

>Packer's new QB...

Got Game w/ Steve Masters

Master's is at the E3 Convention down in LA. Sounds like HELLA fun. Not being sarcastic.

*Steven Tyler - Guitar Hero Aerosmith

*Topspin 3 - Mega awesome Tennis! I'd think best for Wii...

Questions:

Is Xbox coming out with a new version of the console around Xmas? Rumor of a BlueRay feature on a new Xbox product coming out soon. Speculation between Ravey and Masters is that Windows and Sony aren't ready to "get into bed together." Hawt.

Music & Entertainment:

>A member of LIT is really really ill. :( Their dummer, Allen Shellenberger, was recently diagnosed with a grade four (4) malignant brain tumor. They're going to be having several benefit concerts in efforts to raise money to offset medical fees.

>Linkin Park kick of Boston's Project Rev Tour tonight? Anyone going? I'll be there.

>Hancock - kicking ass overseas. 180 million overseas. Kung Fu Panda and Mama Mia are doing it, too.

>The final episode won't air until 2011. What show? Nip/Tuck.

>Buffy pals: Josh Weeden straight to Web "Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog." Oh, goody. Lol. I loves Ravey. Guys, it's a MUSICAL so, rejoice.

>Tom Morello of Rage rips on Republicans and supports Barack...

DumbAss Contest (1 winner)
Good or Gross? Beanboozled by Jelly Belly jelly beans

Coconut (Ravey) vs Babywipe (Tony)

Berry Blue or Toothpaste (both!)

Juicey Pear (both!) or Booger

Butter Popcorn (Tony) or Rotten Egg (Ravey)

Licorice (Tony) of Skunk Spray (Ravey)

Pencil shavings (Tony) or Carmel Corn (Ravey)
Winner won: AMA Monster Supercross - in January

Gay TV Report Card?

GLAD - 4,911 hours of Prime Time TV to grade the gayness of shows. ABC led the way with a "Good" at 24%. CW mostly because of America's Next Top Model also received "Good." CBS received an "Addequate." NBC And Fox received failing grades. Spike, for straight men, TV had a 10%. TBS has 7%. Logo, I guess, is for gay men. TNT had 1%. None of the channels received an "Excellent," which is GLAD's highest grade.

Stories out of Indiana:

>Custody split - Christy's a Christian and wants her daughters to go to church with her while her ex-husband is a Satanist and wants their girls to go to his church.

>9 year old girl woke up from a nap to her mother screaming. She poked her head inside the room and saw her mother being attacked by a man. So she called 911. Turns out it was just an afternoon grind sesh.

Today's Guest - Kevin Rose of Digg.com

More Techno Babble. What's a hacked phone? Blackberries need a new browser? You're gonna have to get a new phone.

Digg.com - Crazy stories
10 most bizaar Ebay auctions...

Someone is aging belly button lint. Yuck!

Toenail collections

John McCain Pancake $12.50

AskMen's Top 10 Dogs

Bull dogs. Husky. Germ Shep. Rotweiler. Doberman. Pincher. #1 Rhodesian Ridgeback.

25 signs you've actually grown up.
Depression hits the majority of the show...

140 lb tumor removed from a woman's stomach. She thought she was just gaining weight. Her doctor said the tumor was growing there for 10 years.

Highest Dugg stories: April Fool's Prank. Heath Ledger. George Carlin.

Woah - since they were 14 a brother and sister have been sleeping together. She was insanely jealous to watch him get married to someone other than herself. This story was Dugg. Or is it "Digged?" It's DUGG! 'I had sex with my brother but I don't feel guilty.' Yuck? I don't have siblings.

Grade Today's Show: 63.3% A

Today's Just the Headline: "Mormons clear up missionary position."